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nodramads
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March 2009
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~sassylilpet~ [userpic]
ever have this issue??

OK I met my Sir on-line through a biker site....Think I had already posted that...lol Anyway here is the issue.....

Because of my up frontness with BDSM and me being a sub...He in turn expressed his interest in exploring that side of him. So he got back in contact with another sub whom he played with briefly. Because she belongs to a group that she bought him too and he wanted to get involved in the group with Him and I. So he introduced her and I on-line and things were and are still cool matter of fact I have now become her room mate...

OK rambling here a bit.......ISSUE focus sassy focus!!! Well pretty much since I've moved in since beginning of this month...She seems to say more and more things about when Him and her had their "brief" time rogether. I can hear the jealousy in her tone even...She was not and is not his type and when I first met Him we agreed this was going to be a more "play" thing than a relationship cause neither of us were ready for anything else. Needless to say things have taken on a more serious role these days and He wants to spend more and more time with me and I can see that it's getting to her. She'll say things like oh he was never like that with me so on and so forth.....I bite my tongue but half the time I want to say get the fuck over it already I am His and He is mine deal!!! 

The other issue at hand is I have never been with another woman I am a bit curious about it yes...and she is always saying let me have you blah blah blah...nothing personal but she is NOT my type either...LOL But the issue at hand is her attitude while we are speaking to others in said group she sometimes acts as if I am her sub which is not sitting well with me in the least!! I only bow down to one man and men in general!!! If there comes a time that I do choose to play with another woman I know for certain I would be the top. My Sir is not to pleased with her actions as of late either. 

Has anyone ever delt with the former subs/slaves and was it ever like what I am dealing with now? How do you handle it calmly?  LMAO I think it is almost time for my period on top of everything so all the little remarks are getting under my skin!!!

Thanks 
~sassy~

Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Comments

If you don't want her to think she can boss you around, step and tell her to shut up. (Perhaps more nicely if you still want to be able to live there.) She needs to know that you are not going to bow to her, and biting your tounge is easily misconstrued as respecting her authority, when you clearly do not. So make this clear to her. Also, plan on moving out ASAP!

The other thing to do is to have a more serious discussion with your Master, make clear the points that are bothering you about this, then discuss this with all three of you together. She's being fairly upfront, if in a somewhat obtuse manour, you B/both should do the same.

Communication is important with people you deal with on a daily basis, and ones that are involved in your personal life require and extreme amount of direct and open communication to keep things as clear and smooth as possible. Saying nothing now makes speaking up later ten times harder.

I agree with what you are saying and I have been up front with her ESPECIALLY about I bow down to no one but Sir...

Well I wish I could but sadly I am kinda in a tight spot. I am trying desperately to find a new job and once I do I will be looking for a small affordable (hopefully) place of my own!

Master and I have spoken about her remarks and such and the way she has been acting when we are all either in a chat session on-line or at a play party. We both have decided to make it VERY clear in our next group chat session that she and I are ROOM MATES only. So everyone knows where we stand. The reason we need to do that in the group session is cause she made someone think her and I had a thing going last week and that person said she would give her ideas on how to deal with me!! I did say in that chat that Sir was the only one I answered too but I don't think they truly got it.

Yes, moving is the most difficult but ultimately best solution at that. I hope you are able to find a job and new place soon!

Sounds like you'd better make yourself pretty clear on your stand point pretty quick, before she tries to make a move! Some people are just too damn stubborn.

I think I'd bring up the fact to her that her comments bother you. You can do it in a safe/cautious way. Just say you know I know you two had a relationship and i'm sorry it didn't work out but now we have to live together as roommates and your comments really affect me. If she wants to keep you as a friend and a roommate she will cease to keep bringing it up. It has nothing to do with the life style it has more to do with how you act with someone you consider a friend.

HEY GIRL!!!! Long time no see and yes you are right about that. I do need to have a word with her on the subject and very soon. OK besides that how are you???

I'm doing alright. Just living.. trying to stay as healthy as possible :)

I'm glad to see your still around *hugs*

as I am you!!!! HUGS back do you have everything undercontrol now..pain ect...??